


"Kiss and Make Up"

by LovelyZelda



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-18
Updated: 2010-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyZelda/pseuds/LovelyZelda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk "forces" Spock and McCoy kiss and make up.  Scotty doesn't know what to think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Kiss and Make Up"

  
Scott had been a bit surprised to be called to the captain's quarters.  Of course he'd been asked along when shore leave came around, but Scott did most of his socializing in his own quarters with a few interesting articles and a glass of good scotch. 

He felt a bit like a lad called to the headmaster's office--especially when he saw Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy already there and no sign of either a bottle or a chessboard.  It didn't even look as though they'd been offered a chair--both were still standing, hands held behind their backs (and as much as it tickled Scott, he never dared point out how alike their mannerisms could be).

"Ah, Scotty, excellent."  Kirk grinned at him.  "Now that we're all here..."  He turned to Spock and McCoy.  "Gentlemen, I've been told you didn't behave yourselves while I was gone.  I've heard we had trouble playing nicely together.  Mr. Scott?"

"Sir?"

"Would you say that's accurate?"

Scott looked at Spock and McCoy.  They were both staring at a point in the wall.  He couldn't read either of their expressions--not that anyone could ever tell what Mr. Spock was thinking, but Dr. McCoy tended to be easier to read than a great many books.

"Is this...an official inquiry, Captain?"

"Oh, no, no, no," said Kirk.  "A..._personal_ inquiry."

For a brief moment, it looked like McCoy smirked.  Scott almost thought he saw a corner of Spock's mouth twitch.  He smiled, still feeling nervous even though he couldn't quite pin down why.  "You know how it is, Captain."

"And how is it, Scotty?"

"Well..." he grinned at Spock and McCoy and got maybe a faint eyebrow twitch and another smirk for his trouble.  "Like cats and dogs, Captain."

"Like cats and dogs, gentlemen," said Kirk.

"Jim, can we get on with this?" asked McCoy.

"And what do cats and dogs do, Bones?"

McCoy shrugged.  "In my experience?  Cat and the dog usually got along all right."

"Actually, you know, that's been my experience as well."

Spock cleared his throat.  "I believe you were referring to the proverbial cats and dogs, Captain."

"You a proverbial biologist now, Spock?"

"I am merely capable of recognizing the difference between an accepted cultural idiom and actual experience."

"So if I were to introduce your ass to my boot--"

"Gentlemen, this is exactly the sort of behavior I was talking about," said Kirk.  His face was stern, but his eyes looked amused.  "I want you to kiss and make up."

McCoy rolled his eyes.  Spock raised both eyebrows and looked as if he was fed up with all of humanity (an expression Scott was unfortunately quite familiar with).

"Well?"

Spock and McCoy looked at each other.  McCoy held out a hand.  Spock took it.

And Scott thought that was that...until Kirk said, "I should've been more specific.  I meant the human variety."

"Oh come on..."

Kirk grinned.  "I'm sure we'll get to that soon enough, Bones."

"I dislike the assumption that the human way is the default way of doing things," said Spock.

"My apologies, Spock," said Kirk.  "Since we wanted to get on with this...?"

McCoy sighed and, to Scott's amazement, leaned over and gave the Vulcan a peck on the cheek.  (And, Scott realized, finally let go of his hand as well.)

"Bones, my grandmother kisses better than that."

"Well, now, I don't know what you've been getting up to with your grandmother..."

"I am not familiar with the woman, but I can only assume assume she does most things better than Dr. McCoy," said Spock.

"She couldn't possibly be better at being sick of stubborn, stuck up--"

"I think we're definitely in for another, much more convincing apology," said Kirk.  "Or two."

"Dammit, Jim--"

"Bones," said Kirk, giving him the sort of look that made new ensigns faint.  "I think you both know it's time to take your medicine."

Scott thought he might faint himself as McCoy gave Spock a kiss on the mouth that looked like it would certainly give Kirk's nan a run for her money.

"Much better," said Kirk.

"Jim--"

"I didn't say stop, Spock.  Just that that was much better.  But there's always room for improvement."

"In some cases, it is not possible to--"

"I know you can do better, Spock," said Kirk.  "And it will keep McCoy from saying anything illogical."

"You--"

"There, you see?"  Kirk kept his eyes on Spock and McCoy as he asked Scott, "What kind of fight was it?"

"Captain, I dinnae if--"

"Jim, Scotty."  Kirk glanced away just long enough to beam at him.  "After all, this is very much off the record."

"I wouldn't say it was anything serious," said Scott.  "You know better'n anyone--"

"Anyone's professional abilities called into question?  Gentlemen, trust me, I'll let you know when you're finished."

"Damn it, Jim--"

"Bones, are you having trouble hearing me?"

"No."

"I'd think you of all people would know how important it is to take your medicine."

"Oh for...medicine's not a punishment, Jim," said McCoy.  "It's meant to help."

Kirk pointed a finger at Spock.  "Don't."

"Jim?" asked Spock.

"I can hear you thinking it," said Kirk.  He gestured, waving his hands towards each other.  "Break's over.  You were saying, Scotty?"

Scott didn't know where to look.  Spock and McCoy were snogging again, pressed up close and tight and starting to move their hips just a bit.  "Er, Jim, I..."  McCoy's hand clutched Spock's back.  "I dinnae think I should be telling tales out of school."

"Scotty," Kirk said warmly.  "Scotty, isn't it much nicer to see them using those sharp tongues for good instead of evil?"

Without meaning to, Scott looked back at Spock and McCoy again.  The doctor's hand had worked its way up, gripping Spock's hair.  It was hard to say without being in the thick of it, but it looked a bit rough--as if Spock and McCoy had just found a different way to fight with those sharp tongues.

Kirk put an arm around Scott's shoulders.  The captain was grinning ear to ear.  "It's for their own good, you know."

"Captain, you cannae--"

"All in good fun, Scotty.  And," he added in a whisper, "do you really think I could force Spock and McCoy to do anything?"

"Aye, Captain.  That I do."

"I'm flattered," said Kirk.  "You're completely wrong, but I'm flattered."

McCoy moaned in Spock's mouth.  "Really, Doctor?"

"Yes, really.  What'd you think would happen?"  The hand in Spock's hair relaxed and started to stroke the back of the Vulcan's neck.  "What's wrong?"  He gave Spock a quick kiss on the lips and said, "Scotty doesn't care."

Scott didn't know what to think.

"Jim is distracted," said Spock.  It seemed to be fast, light kisses building up to slower, deeper ones (and Scott realized he was staring again).

"All this trouble--and he's distracted?"

"Jim is enjoying the show," said Kirk.  "And he thinks you're making very good progress."

Scott looked at the floor.  It seemed like a very long time before he heard Spock and McCoy catch their breath and McCoy ask, "So we can stop?"

"Why would you stop?" asked Kirk.  "You've only just gotten started."

"Terrific," McCoy muttered.

"Doctor, I object just as much as you do," said Spock.

McCoy smiled.  "Oh?"

"I would even go so far as to say that our objections are identical."

"You hear that, Jim?"

Kirk laughed and sat down.  "Yes, Bones."

"So are you going to let us go?"

"Of course not.  Now that you're friends again, I think it's time to get a little friendlier."

"Again would imply--"

"Thank you, Spock, I'm well aware of the implications."  He shifted, practically sprawling in the chair.  "Who gives better head?"

Scott's face had to be as red as his shirt, and he was too gobsmacked to even stammer out an excuse to leave.

"I believe Mr. Spock gives a very efficient, very precise blowjob," said McCoy.  He glanced at Scott, then looked at Spock.  "Course I've been wrong before."

"Spock?"  Kirk asked.  He looked a mite concerned (and this was all his doing!)

"The doctor is correct," said Spock.  He gave McCoy a look that--well, had it been anyone else, Scott might've called it indulgent.

_If Mr. Spock's ever indulged a soul in his life, it certainly wouldn't be Dr. McCoy,_ Scott said to himself.  _Aye, except if it'd been you with the conn yesterday, trying to get back the captain, you wouldn't take anyone snapping at you like that._

"Then it's settled," said Kirk.  "Spock gives incredibly logical blowjobs, and Bones...well, I'm you could always benefit from a demonstration of logic."

"No, Jim," said McCoy.

  
"No?  Did or did you not work the term 'pointed eared hobgoblin' into the conversation around 1400 hours--"

"He did not," said Spock.

"Because...?"

"Because the actually expression used was 'green blooded hobgoblin,'" said Spock.

"And did anything inspire this remark?"

"I may suggested that the good doctor's mental capabilities are too stunted to be measured by any conventional means."

"What am I going to do with you two?"

"Well, if you're looking for suggestions--"

"Spock, you'll cooperate?" Kirk asked.  "For me?"

Spock sighed.  "If this will please you, Jim."

"It will, Spock.  Very much."

"Don't I get a say in this?" McCoy asked.

Scott quickly looked away as Spock knelt and unfastened McCoy's trousers.  "Bones, I'm afraid you're just going to have to put up with it," said Kirk.

"Oh, joy."

"Everything all right, Scotty?"

"Why'd you want me here, Captain?"

"Jim, Scotty.  And I thought you'd enjoy it."

"Enjoy it!"

"Scotty."  McCoy was holding both of Spock's hands and stroking the back's of his fingers with his thumbs (and Scott didn't dare look any lower than that).  "Scotty, who do you think tattled?"  He looked down at Spock.  "Knock it off.  You keep that up, and--"

"Bones, can you give me one good reason why you shouldn't come in Spock's mouth?" Kirk asked.

"I don't want to?"

"A _good_ reason.  Spock not being precise enough?"

"Oh, no, he's _very_ precise," said McCoy.  "But you know how it is."

"I do, Bones.  I know you and Spock can hardly stand to be in the same room together, but...well, you've both flexible beings."

Scott looked at just the wrong time to learn what Spock's tongue--which was greener than any such appendage had a right to be--looked like lapping at McCoy's dick.  Bloody hell, how was he supposed to look anyone in the eye after this?  (_And just why're you still standing here with your mouth hanging open?_)

"You know, McCoy said in a quiet, not-so-steady voice, "I'd just hate it if you have us move somewhere else.  Like your bed, for instance."

"Why's that, Bones?" said Kirk in a similar--but slightly steadier--tone.

"Be much easier for you to make me suck Spock's fingers or--"

"Bones, stop trying to get Spock off."  Kirk waved a finger at him.  Spock followed it, a lean and hungry look in his eyes.

"You gonna come over here and make me?"

Kirk stood up with a dramatic sigh.  "I suppose I have to."

Scott couldn't quite see what happened (Kirk made a better starship captain than a window, that was certain), but Spock was standing again, and McCoy had his arms wrapped around Kirk.

"Oof...Bones, you crack any ribs, I expect you to fix them.  You know, Spock, I really don't think he trusts us."

"I'll make you a deal, Jim," said McCoy.  "You two manage to go one month without trying to get yourselves killed or locked up or beaten half to death--"

"In the captain's case, I believe two weeks would be far more reasonable."

Scott thought about when they'd gotten the captain back--Kirk had swaggered onto the bridge like he'd only been down in the officers' mess, and McCoy's face had lit up like the sky on Bonfire Night.  Mr. Spock had been his usual cold, professional self (and Scott had just kept his peace since even Dr. McCoy didn't seem to have any objections to Spock's chilly welcome home).  It went just as it usually did, and Scott didn't have the slightest clue that anybody'd had to fight back the urge to give the captain a rib-busting bear hug.

"I take it we're feeling much more cooperative, gentlemen?" Kirk asked.  "Well, Scotty, which one do you want?"

"Er, sorry, Captain?"

"I thought that would be the most...logical way to do things.  But I'm willing to try something a bit more complex."

"Oh, I'd...I'd only be intruding," said Scott as McCoy kissed Kirk.  "You know the old saying...two's company, but...well, you know what I mean."

"You're sure?"

"Aye, quite sure."

"Well, if you change your mind..." Kirk looked a bit disappointed, but it didn't look as though he'd stay that way for long. He'd managed to get an arm free and drag Spock over to him, and it looked as though both the doctor and the Vulcan had forgotten there was anyone in the room besides Kirk.

"Aye, I'll let you know, Captain.  Jim." 

Scott shook his head as the door slid shut behind him.  At least you always knew where you were with engines...


End file.
